« August 2010 • Main • October 2010 »

September 27, 2010

Nope

I didn't get pregnant.

I'm so sad. I'm scared about facing the possibility that this may not be possible for me.
I don't even want to think about that now.

It feels similar to losing my mother, I feel devastated, scared, lost... A piece of me gone. Or something, it feels huge and heavy, yet like a void at the same time.

I wish I could take some time off, time to just sleep and quiet my mind. Take a breather to recoup and then get back on with my life.

I know my life is going to be good. But right now I feel so sad. I feel sad for my daughter. I know her life is going to be great too.

I'm not done trying yet. And I know I'll be able to adjust to the outcome, it'll just take a bit.

Posted by hopeful @ 10:11 AM

September 20, 2010

Don't want to leave you hanging

It's been a while and I didn't want to leave you (few) hanging on my progress.

Things have been going very well, not only have I finished the hard part of the IVF cycle unscathed I also lost about 10 pounds!

I'm weighing in at 194 and am waiting for pregnancy results (5 more days).

I feel great, that 10 pounds has really made a difference in how my clothes fit, my face and my attitude.

As far as the IVF everything has gone smoothly, no bad news or anything, pretty run of the mill for someone trying this late in her (barely) thirtys. So I'm staying optimistic. Other emotions I suspend until I cross certain bridges.

Mentally I have been feeling great, I hope it isn't soley all the hormones I'm loaded up with. I've wondered if they have helped me lose weight.

I'll update as soon as I find out the results, I'm sure.

Posted by hopeful @ 2:23 PM