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August 3, 2010

Cheers

I could really use a drink today or a pill to help me relax.
  
I got my period.  Which isn't a big surprise because we took a month off of any fertility assistance, but I was still hoping.

This marks the beginning of the IVF process and I'm feeling nervous.  All things medical freak me out a bit and I'll have to go under scary anesthesia.

The next bit has compounded upon those nerves and sent me into a tailspin.  I've paid the upfront fees amounting to nearly 22 thousand dollars and when my medication arrives i'm looking at another five.  Oh and there will be more because that anesthesia and other little details that are not covered by the program keep adding up.

I'm ok though.  I'm hoping for the best and thinking about my daughter who desperately wants a sibling.  I know I'm doing the right thing for me, but not every aspect of it feels good.  I haven't wavered on my decision at all, yet it has been difficult.

Knowing the next month or two will be physically taxing (and possibly the 9 months after that, then the next 3 to 4 years after that), I have started working out.  Last week I went to the gym four times, and so far, once this week.  This has made me feel good.  Tomorrow I might try and weigh myself and start keeping track.

I have to get into the mode of working really hard because at a minimum I will be working extra to pay all of this off!

Posted by hopeful @ August 3, 2010 3:12 PM