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July 19, 2010

A little R & R

I just got back from a wonderful camping vacation where I didn't think about work and I really honestly felt stress free. And I gained a few pounds. I thought lack of stress would help me maybe lose a couple, but certainly maintain.

We were active and everything.

It's not going to happen without a lot of effort. I have to eat a lot less than I'm accustomed to and I have to move more. Period. And I can't wait another minute. I saw a picture of my mom at my age and she looked beautiful. I looked at a picture of her and I last summer on vacation and we looked nearly the same, her at 67 and me at 37. No, yea, you read that right, I looked like her at 67! I don't look 67 in real life but in the picture my puffy face looked like hers, which I believe was a side effect of poor health like high blood pressure or something. She didn't even weigh as much as me. I'm sure as she was trying to quit smoking she'd say Ef-it, one more day. I have got to try and not wait another day, she has to be a lesson to me.

Lately I feel like I'm always achey and breathing takes effort. I don't want to throw away anymore of my youth.

And if I manage to get pregnant, I'm putting a lot more at risk.

Why is this one aspect of my life so hard and I feel like I've learned nothing over these past million years (more than half my life).

Is success possible without changing my career to aerobic instructor or nutritionist?

I am going to try this week. I'm going to try and start working out again at the Y.

I'm going to eat as though I'm pregnant. I'll be starting IVF in just over a couple of weeks (unless a miracle happens during this unassisted ovulation).

In case you're wondering, I weighed in at 200 lbs. today. Shaking my head in disbelief disgust.

Posted by hopeful @ July 19, 2010 10:08 PM