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October 13, 2009

only partly here

I haven't been able to pay much attention to this blog these days. The same goes for getting my diet back in order. I just have a hard time staying focused. (I'm watching TV right now, I can't even give this my full attention!)

Friday I hosted my book club and have a ton of not-so-great choices in my kitchen at the moment. I keep eating them (mostly as large meals not perpetual snacking) and telling myself that it'll be over soon and I can get back on track. It's so difficult for me to let those items go (and possibly be thrown away). Thank goodness I only host a couple times a year or so.

I also have been having a hard time devoting any time to working out. I think the biggest issue is being able to take the time out from work. I seem to give work most of my time and more often than not, over the average work week. I get paranoid at being great at my job for job security.

I don't know. That's about all I have in me tonight.

Posted by hopeful @ 10:33 PM

October 9, 2009

Acupuncture

I had my acupuncture today and I really think it makes me feel better. It can be challenging getting there because I have to go far away but it's worth it if there is a chance my health insurance will pay for it. Even a famous fertility clinic close by supports acupuncture and offers it in conjunction or as an alternative to fertility treatments. I have yet to see if it has helped me get prego but it does make me feel more relaxed. At risk of looking like a pin cushion I also asked her to see what she can do for stress reduction and weight loss. In the two weeks (three treatments) I've been going, I feel like I've coping better and feeling less ravenous (I hope I don't jinx it).

I'm always running around like a chicken with its head cut off and have a nervous odgeda. But lately (maybe as recent as tonight) I feel that, while I really am busy, I'm only doing stuff I really want to be doing with and for people I really care about. So it's OK. I might want to start scheduling myself better but it's been worth it so far.

Still I need more sleep. I'd be so much better with more sleep.

Ate today:
Veggie patty and a single serving bag of potato chips
small omelet in a half of a pita - and I actually ate this at the table rather than in front of a computer
bowl of broccoli cheese soup and bread
grapes

Managed to resist more potato chips

Posted by hopeful @ 1:02 AM

October 8, 2009

simply a food list

Food for today
Veggie chk'n patty for breakfast
tofurkey sandwhich on potatoe bread with the worst vegan version of mayo ever
two soft boiled eggs with two pieces of toast
boca burger patty with salad
ramen noodle soup w/ broccoli added

hmm... that kind of looks like a lot

How do I feel right now? just tired. Feel like I can't belabor this or I won't keep this up.

Posted by hopeful @ 12:09 AM

October 7, 2009

almost afraid to look

I was almost afraid to look here today but it feels so barren that it actually makes me feel a little more secure in writing.

There's been no major change, I'm still struggling. Rather than hovering in the low 180s I'm hovering around 187. Still not pregnant. Currently no motivation to workout.

My health insurance is entering a re-enrollment /benefits change period and rather than making health improvement programs voluntary and reward based they are making them mandatory with penalty repercussions. I am required to go to a screening where they will evaluate what program I need to participate in and hold me to it or my premiums will go up. I know I'll be required to do a weight management program. They didn't work for me in the past but I'm game to try again.

I've just started going to acupuncture for fertility, weight management, & stress. We're focused on fertility primarily at the moment I think. I've only been twice and its really relaxing but I'm not sure I feel different yet.

I don't think I have the energy to really log my food with calories etc.
What I ate today:

• plain omelet in half a pita
• tofurkey with spinach rolled in whole wheat wrap & side of chinese noodles
• vegetarian chili
• medium Maggie-moos ice cream
• cup of veggie broth with onion

Posted by hopeful @ 12:00 AM