Hopeful Loser

I can’t belabor my posts otherwise I’m just not going to write. I’ve been in such a mental state that my mind is either working too fast or not at all. It’s hard for me to hold onto a thought and when I try to construct coherent posts so that I sound like a sane and normal human being, it’s not happening.

Since I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for a real long time and I can’t afford alternative options or testing etc. I thought I would come up with my own theories for why it’s not happening. That’s healthy, huh? Ever since I saw the movie Lorenzo’s Oil I think I can diagnose myself and discover cures. Seriously.

Anyway, I take a tablespoon of Flaxseed oil once a day because I could swear by it helping with my anxiety and depression. Then I read about how you shouldn’t take it if you’re pregnant because it can cause bleeding. But then I also read it does something to your estrogen levels (not unlike soy). I eat flax and a lot of soy, so I thought maybe that was preventing me from getting prego.

I decided to take a break from the flax despite worrying about the effect on my mental state. I didn’t feel a profound difference in my mood but I gained a few pounds. Initially I didn’t think anything of it but this month I decided to go back on the flax because maybe I started to feel a dip in my mood, I’m not sure. But since I did, I lost three of the 6 pounds I gained. We’ll see if it sticks (and goes further).

My appetite has felt better. I think I’ve been doing less emotional eating. See, maybe that’s where the flax helps, I don’t know but I’m sticking with the Flax. I haven’t been able to find anywhere that says it might prevent or hinder getting pregnant.

Comments

I can't wait to hear about the triathlon. I hope you take pictures and post them too. I took photos of me on my bike race and, although I don't look 1/2 as good as the other bikers, it was still a lot of fun to look at them later on. It gives me a good sense of accomplishment.

Good luck with the pregnancy stuff. I'm still kind of in denial about being pregnant myself, but I guess at almost 18 weeks I should start to wake up and acknowledge that it's really happening!

Posted by: Molly at September 11, 2008 3:01 PM

Triathlon! This weekend! Holy. Do share!! As for the pregnancy stuff...hard to know what to say. You know you can get pregnant (hello, Mini!) so I would say be patient. But then, if I were you and a well-intentioned friend who loves me said, 'eh, it'll happen' I think I would probably punch them in the nose and then I would say 'bite me'. Because that shit ain't funny when it's happening to you. So I think I'll stick with "hard to know what to say" but "I've got my fingers crossed for you that it's sooner rather than later" and I think I'll add "sweetie pie" because I miss you and I'd like to encourage you to write more.

Posted by: mia at September 11, 2008 9:54 PM

Can't wait to hear all about the triathlon! :-) And good luck with the pg stuff!

Posted by: Alexia at September 11, 2008 11:32 PM

September 11, 2008

I think I’m a doctor

Comments