Hopeful Loser

I’m mesmerized by the snow outside and wish I could just watch it and zone out all day. It is so beautiful.

I’m continuing to work on making myself feel better and am recovering from my nervous breakdown a month ago. Short of winning the lottery there is no immediate solution that would provide me some relief. I’ve got to exercise self control to stay positive which is a real mental workout. Things are going pretty well with the guidance of a therapist. I only have six visits but that’s all I’ll need. She says I have good coping skills.

Basically I’m reminding myself to be positive and enjoy each moment. I’ve been able to take care of my family thus far and be successful in so many aspects of my life, there’s no reason to believe I couldn’t continue to do so (despite any adversity that comes my way). When the going gets tough, I’ve always been able to get going.

What scared me is that my breakdown came on so quickly and unexpectedly and I wasn’t sure what set it in motion or why it lasted so long and I felt like I couldn’t talk myself out of it. I realize now some of the contributing factors and I’m not crazy but I need to chill out because nothing catastrophic has happened, I just imagined that they would.

After going into the office yesterday I realized my fears about the state of my job are not unfounded. I have a sixth sense and a lot of people are worried. But I do believe my job isn’t going anywhere for a year or so and I’ve been in this position before many times. I will be OK. All the crazy events in my past have only helped in pointing me in a better direction, future events will be no different.

I’m also starting to pursue a dream of mine. I am starting a side business for myself. I don’t want to go into too much detail before I get more developed but I’m very excited about it and excited to share it with all of you.

Have a great weekend, incase I don’t talk to you one way or another before hand.

Comments

Hi there, I have finally finsihed reading through your archives and I've loved every minute of it! I hope things start getting better for you, I understand that feeling and what it can do to you. I am new to the diet blogosphere and just started trying to lose a ton of weight. Thanks for being an inspiration and good luck!!!

Posted by: Kimberly at February 22, 2008 3:46 PM

Sorry about the bazillion posts, I'm not sure what is up with the computer I am on. I do apologize.

[updated: Hopefulloser] - no problem Kimberly, I fixed it.

Thanks for commenting, I'm off to visit you now :-)

Posted by: Kimberly at February 22, 2008 3:57 PM