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January 15, 2008

Sorry I've gone a little quite

I'm having another nervous breakdown and it physically cripples me. My anxiety makes me have a hard time believing everything is going to be OK. I run through scenarios in my head over and over again and logic tells me there is no security and I start shaking with fear. I know that technically no one knows what tomorrow brings and yet we can still live normal lives. Well, most people can but I can't.

I'm not sure I can talk about the detail just yet but that's where I'm at.

Last time I felt like this it had an affect on my weight because I couldn't eat. When it gets this severe is about the only time I lose my appetite.

I'll start weighing as regularly as I remember, hopefully once a week. I weighed today and I'm still at 196. My doom feeling only kicked in the night before last so we'll see.

I know at some level I'm being irrational but when I spell everything out it doesn't seem like it.

Posted by hopeful @ January 15, 2008 5:11 PM