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December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

I’m tired. I’m sad that the week long Christmas celebration is over. We did so much with family and friends this past week, it was wonderful. Now I have no more distractions. I really need to get off of my butt anyways.

I did well not gaining weight over Thanksgiving, but Christmas, forget about it. I’m very afraid to go near the scale, although, I don’t even have to because my pants are squeezing the truth out of me. Thanks to the digital age, I already saw pictures from yesterday where I could not make a distinction between my boobs and my belly roll. Unfortunately, after breast feeding I’m not so sure I can assume the one closer to the ground was my belly.

The first half of this year was awful but the second half flipped 180 degrees and was great. Of course, because I suffer from severe anxiety I can hardly find any comfort in that. My new year’s resolution is to feel more in control. I want gain control of my fitness and health and feel like I can enjoy myself. I want to gain the confidence to tackle any crazy situation that might arise. My anxiety convinces me that those crazy situations are imminent and I can only find comfort in that I’m equipped to handle them. I just want to be at peace with myself and the world around me.

I think it’s critical to my mental health to eat well and exercise. I’m quite concerned about by mental-ness that it takes precedence over my weight.

I think I need to cut back on TV to regain my ability to focus. My attention span has diminished to maybe five minutes.

I want to find my passion and become really good at something.

Happy New Year from my family!

Posted by hopeful @ 1:35 PM • Comments (3)

December 23, 2007

Don't Sweat It pictures

(click the link below for more pics.)

Posted by hopeful @ 9:44 AM • Comments (5)

December 18, 2007

We’re filming

Oh my goodness, craziness. Yesterday we filmed our first day of the show! It was absolutely awesome and surreal. I’m really tired so I don’t know how coherent this will be (and I don’t have a lot of time).

Everybody associated with the show is hot, girls and boys alike, and they’re all super nice. Luckily because we’ve been in construction mode with our kitchen for a while, having the crew here hasn’t felt a whole lot more intrusive. Actually it just felt like an awesome party.

Of course fatness had to mar the experience just a bit. I wasn’t too self-conscious during the shoot. There was quite a bit of me pulling my shirt down but that was more to cover up my jean pockets that keep inverting themselves and my ass crack. I wasn’t self-conscious talking to all the hot carpenters either. I just wished I was thin a lot. I think I’d broadcast to the whole world that I was on one of my favorite TV shows rather than mostly my closest friends.

I don’t have much time now, more updates to come!

Posted by hopeful @ 7:48 AM • Comments (3)

December 6, 2007

We got the show

We are going to be on the HGTV show Don't Sweat It!

They are going to come over and film us doing a few home improvement projects. I'm so excited. I'm also nervous

Here's a picture of me with the host of the show.
AAhhhh

Posted by hopeful @ 12:17 PM • Comments (10)

December 5, 2007

OMG

Steve Watson from the TV show Don't Sweat It is coming over tomorrow (or later today depending on how you look at it).

I can't believe it.

Posted by hopeful @ 2:01 AM • Comments (4)