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August 20, 2007

Battling addiction

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a show about an obese woman and how much food she consumes in a day. The show followed her for a day and flashed the calorie count of what she was eating while keeping a running total. I forget the precise number but it was in the tens of thousands and she was basically gaining a few pounds per day.

Because she was homebound there was no external action and she just talked about her feelings and emotions through the course of this day. She didn’t talk as much about her divorce or other circumstances that may have led up to this but more about the emotions and thoughts she deals with on a daily basis now. She talked about the food addiction and the guilt. I was not all that surprised when I found myself relating to her 90 percent of the time.

I’m also currently reading Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis and find myself relating to many of his emotions regarding drug addiction which I have battled in the past as well.

Today I am struggling.

It’s so easy to turn to my drug of choice and forget about the consequences. It’s not unusual to avoid the things that might help me get well (like exercise, a meeting or counselor) because I want to live on the dark side for just a bit longer and postpone the work it takes to be healthy (not sane, mind you, just healthy).

Posted by hopeful @ August 20, 2007 2:38 PM