Hopeful Loser

So much for hitting that goal, I’m just letting the days slip by with no loss. I’m very happy that I haven’t gained because I haven’t been watching my eating (eating poorly I think). My life is in such a frenzy mode I can’t see much of anything. I can fit in the exercise on most days and the rest is a blur.

I’m running around like a mad woman each day and feel like I can hardly breathe. I’m too tired to think clearly but I’m guessing I’ll get the hang of it or find my groove or something.

I’m trying to muster up the confidence to go to California 28 pounds heavier than I left. It’s going to be quite a surprise to people, even if they don’t care about it. I know many will judge me and I’m not looking forward to that. I know I can win most of them back (partially) but it stinks to have to go through it.

I know I didn’t really respond to comments regarding this topic last time I mentioned it but people judge. Period. And it can feel crappy. I’m not talking about friends and relatives. I’m talking about acquaintances and co-workers. I’ve experienced it to the detriment of my job at a previous employer and I’ve seen others experience it at this place. I’ve overheard conversations (and been spoken to directly) about weight and looks so it’s not a figment of my imagination.

It all makes me cringe. Is it the worst thing in the world that I’m worried about right now? No. I have successfully lowered it on my list of priorities. That’s progress.

Comments

I wish you didn't feel so bad about facing your work mates.... I know you think it is going to be awful, but maybe it won't? Surely these people are not so rude as to say anything about your weight to you? Hold your chin up girl, you are more than a number on the scales! Stop stessing, you have had enough on your plate lately without all this worry over a few pounds!

Posted by: Chris H at April 11, 2007 5:00 PM

I agree with Chris H, keep your chin up! If you walk in there confidently and proud people will be less likely to judge you negatively. Confidence makes people more attractive, period. I know you'd like to be thinner, but work what you've got.

Posted by: PastaQueen at April 13, 2007 10:15 AM

"It’s going to be quite a surprise to people, even if they don’t care about it. I know many will judge me and I’m not looking forward to that. I know I can win most of them back (partially) but it stinks to have to go through it."

I don't know you from a can of paint, save for what I've just read above but my thought process on this is if they have to be won back (over 28 lbs no less), they're not worth winning. Good luck!

Posted by: C at April 13, 2007 6:18 PM