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April 11, 2007

I’m just letting the days slip by

So much for hitting that goal, I’m just letting the days slip by with no loss. I’m very happy that I haven’t gained because I haven’t been watching my eating (eating poorly I think). My life is in such a frenzy mode I can’t see much of anything. I can fit in the exercise on most days and the rest is a blur.

I’m running around like a mad woman each day and feel like I can hardly breathe. I’m too tired to think clearly but I’m guessing I’ll get the hang of it or find my groove or something.

I’m trying to muster up the confidence to go to California 28 pounds heavier than I left. It’s going to be quite a surprise to people, even if they don’t care about it. I know many will judge me and I’m not looking forward to that. I know I can win most of them back (partially) but it stinks to have to go through it.

I know I didn’t really respond to comments regarding this topic last time I mentioned it but people judge. Period. And it can feel crappy. I’m not talking about friends and relatives. I’m talking about acquaintances and co-workers. I’ve experienced it to the detriment of my job at a previous employer and I’ve seen others experience it at this place. I’ve overheard conversations (and been spoken to directly) about weight and looks so it’s not a figment of my imagination.

It all makes me cringe. Is it the worst thing in the world that I’m worried about right now? No. I have successfully lowered it on my list of priorities. That’s progress.

I wish I had more time to write today.

Posted by hopeful @ April 11, 2007 11:38 AM