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March 21, 2007

So sad

I’m just so sad today. I don’t want to always bring down the mood around here but because writing makes me feel better, I don’t want to stay away either.

I didn’t eat great over the weekend. On Sunday we got together with family to celebrate some birthdays and I had pizza. I haven’t had pizza in a while and it’s probably better to stay away from it. When I abstain from a lot of carbs, fats, and dairy it becomes easier to keep away from them. The smallest taste unleashes a monster that takes days to tame and get back in its cage.

Probably as a result, for the past few days I’ve not been eating the best. Yesterday I felt so empty, I ate a ton. It didn’t help that my busy schedule left no time for me to exercise which can usually brighten my mood. What rationalization would lead me to believe that an engorged belly could some how be a filler or solution for an emotional void? It happens every time.

Not much progress where my husband is concerned. I’m numb. I’ve been operating like a numb zombie for nearly three weeks. We went to our counseling session yesterday and it just reinforced my frustration and hopelessness. Even our counselor looked like she wanted to sock him a couple of times. I’m glad she’s upping the seriousness factor because my husband just doesn’t seem to get it. I wish they had a rehabilitation center for the socially handicap where they could beat him into shape and that’s all he could do.

We finally managed, after a few weeks and lies, to squeeze out two job applications for him. At this rate he might not even get a job before I die.

One piece of good news, I managed to cut our credit card bill in have this month. You really spend a whole lot less money when you don’t leave the house or eat. I hope I can continue to keep expenses this low.

Question to everyone, because I really have no clue, what is an average monthly grocery budget for a family of three? I’m looking for a sustainable yet on the lower side budget. I’ve never really thought about this before and have no clue. This past month we were somewhere around $550. But that included the first two weeks where I wasn’t pulling the reins on things. So I feel I probably can do better.

Posted by hopeful @ March 21, 2007 12:12 PM