« 190 and doing well diet-wise • Main • 187 – 38 days and counting »

March 9, 2007

188

Now that I’ve stopped uncontrollably and violently shaking, I can post.

I’m exhausted from this shaking and I’m having difficulty sleeping. For the first time, I’m pretty sure ever, I really have no desire for food. My appetite is probably recovering now that I’m beginning to calm down a bit but I can truly say that I had trouble eating over the past few days. I’ve always wished that would happen to me. I could be puking from some rare stomach virus and still be looking forward to my next meal.

Now that I know what it takes to diminish my hunger I would rather battle my will power than face homelessness any day.

But my growing confidence from this weight loss is just what I need to face the challenges I have ahead of me.

Thank you guys for your comments, they make me feel so much better (and even made me laugh Mia!). Call in the violins if you must, but it’s true. It’s a relief to put it out there and feel supported.

While I am terrified about my immediate future because something has to give and it has to be now. I don’t have the luxury of time to procrastinate or put off the inevitable, one way or another, things are going to change and be different. Again, I’m terrified but I have a tinge of excitement about what change is going to take place.

P.S. I will unravel the mystery that is my husband. I’m pretty sure he’s not pure evil and that there is a deep rooted issue and disability. We’ll see.

Posted by hopeful @ March 9, 2007 11:37 AM