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October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween

I love this holiday and it’s a beautiful day here in NJ. I’m feeling pretty good today despite feeling a little ill from an impending cold, having drank a little too much last night, lacking sleep, and finally seeing a one pound gain on the scale this morning. I’m not going to stress over that pound because it could be the million coronas I inhaled last night. But I don’t want to rest too easy in the new found space of my size 16s because technically I’m creeping up in size, albeit slow. Before I know it it’s going to look like a huge leap.

More positive news is that we’re able to stay in our new house. I have a bed and my computer is set up. 99 percent of our painting is done. I’m home!

Near the top of my list of priorities is getting back to the gym. I had been in such good shape and I really miss it. I know this is easy to say but I’m not so far gone that I’m not still motivated. My plan is to get back on the wagon the same way I started this nearly two years ago. Slow and steady, incorporating little efforts here and there until I get on a consistent roll.

Despite my setbacks and some yo-yoing, after two years I’m still 25 pounds down from my highest documented weight (I’m sure it was even higher). I do feel like a changed person where my weight, eating, and obsession about it are much more moderate. Even if I’m not where I thought I would be at this time, I’m still ahead in the game.

Posted by hopeful @ 1:57 PM • Comments (1)

October 27, 2006

Notta lotta change

I feel bad reporting I’m in the same state as I’ve been for the last couple of weeks. I’m pretty sure there has been no gain and certainly no loss and we’re still painting. Done or not we’re going to try and move in this weekend. I’m so excited to start my new life. I’m going to get this site renewed and up and running again along with my motivation to get back on track.

Because I got rid of all of my heavy clothes and had pared down for our move, I have no clothes to wear. Until last night I was down to one pair of jeans, my size 14 Old Navy jeans. I didn’t want to buckle and buy a new pair but I stupidly painted in them. I couldn’t get away with wearing them everyday because of the identifying marks made by all the paint. I was sporting a real 80’s look so it’s probably for the best.

My 14’s barely fit and I was squeezing into them creating a flat and wide butt. I was so on the brink fitting into them that if I ate extra salty for the day I would bloat to the point of having to unbutton and fold down. So I got size 16 stretch from Target. This worries me a bit because when left with free space I get too comfortable and forget about the reality of the situation and tend to fill in the gaps. The only other thing I bought is a comfort sweat shirt. I’m still refusing to buy a bunch of larger clothes.

Hopefully I’ll be able to set up my office this weekend so that I can scan some images. Hopefully I can locate my scanner and everything else I own that I haven’t seen for five months.

Posted by hopeful @ 10:31 AM • Comments (5)

October 16, 2006

Wow still 185

I’m surprised that I’m not less considering all the work that I’ve been doing. Maybe it’s the stress that is keeping it on (along with the sizable meals *doh*).

I feel sad that I haven’t had the energy to post here lately. I’ve been working frantically to get my house painted so that we can move in. I’ve put in three all-nighters last week to try and get stuff done. Pulling all-nighters and working at least a 40 hour week don’t mix. I’m dead tired.

I don’t know how to describe my husband’s work ethic or ability. It appears he has none. For some reason he’s never able to get anything done. And he refuses to get a job. So I’ve had to do most everything. When it comes to him I just don’t know what to think.

Right now I can’t imagine how this is going to get done. Looking at my last post I suppose I’ve jinxed those good thoughts because now I’m feeling pretty demoralized. I managed to screw up my tile job, although not irreparably, it’s going to take a lot of work to make it right. I left too much grout on the surface and now I’m going to have a hell of a time getting it off.

It just one obstacle after another and now the weekends are starting to get busy in the midst of upcoming holidays. I’m screwed. Also I miss my daughter. If I’m not careful she’s going to start calling my mom and dad, ‘mom’ and ‘dad’.

I need to come up with a term for that feeling I get where I want to crawl in to bed and sleep until it’s all over, like it’s just a bad dream. This would sure make it easier to reference every other post.

Posted by hopeful @ 6:31 PM • Comments (4)

October 5, 2006

Busting seams

I haven’t weighed myself in a few days but I’m feeling much better. There was a while there where I felt like I was going to bust the seams on my jeans or kill someone with the button that was about to pop off with the speed and strength of a bullet. That has subsided now.

I probably sound like a broken record and I don’t want to jinx it but my eating continues to get better. We’re still eating out a lot but I’m having less difficulty not finishing my meals and only eating to the point of feeling satisfied, or maybe a tad full.

Of course this coincides with feeling better about the state of my new house too. We really worked hard last week prepping the wood floors to get refinished and installed. I also laid down new tile in our entry way. I’m so sore from all the heavy lifting and strenuous work. I got a lot of great exercise and the end is in site. I hope to do a lot of painting over the next few days and getting us in the new house by the end of the weekend. Not completely in, but mostly.

I have some pictures to post soon. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and a friend of mine gave me some pictures. I’ll have to scan them in and will try to do it as soon as I can.

Posted by hopeful @ 1:34 PM • Comments (4)