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July 10, 2006

I could be either Judd

This is very interesting.

Ashley Judd says she spent 47 days in a Texas treatment facility for depression and other emotional problems, in an interview in Glamour magazine.

Judd, the daughter of country music star Naomi Judd, says she entered the Shades of Hope Treatment Center in Buffalo Gap in February for "codependence in my relationships; depression, blaming, raging, numbing, denying and minimizing my feelings."

"But because my addictions were behavioral, not chemical, I wouldn't have known to seek treatment. At Shades of Hope, my behaviors were treated like addictions. And those behaviors were killing me spiritually, the same as someone who is sitting on a corner with a bottle in a brown paper bag."

Judd says she was visiting her sister, singer Wynonna Judd, who was being treated for food addictions.

"When (the counselors) approached me about treatment, they said, `No one ever does an intervention on people like you. You look too good; you're too smart and together. But you (and Wynonna) come from the same family — so you come from the same wound.' No one had ever validated my pain before. It was so profound," she says.

I’m so glad she came out with this because far too often our problems are overlooked (even by ourselves) when there appear to be no symptoms or when some people don’t think certain symptoms are valid. When I was in high school eating disorders were not recognized or acknowledged unless someone looked skeletal and on the verge of death. (This was the case for two girls I went to school with).

I didn’t even know I had an eating disorder until a young woman came to our school and spoke to us girls during our gym class one day. I remember being shocked at the damage she had done to her body as a result of 10 years of bulimia. Even still, I walked out of gym thinking that I had seven years left before I had to start worrying about what might happen to me.

I can relate to Ashley’s "codependence, depression, blaming, anger, numbing, denying and minimizing of feelings". I responded, at some point, similarly to both sisters who appear to be diametrical. Up until about seven years ago I resembled Ashley in that I looked good, smart and together. Then I took a turn in Wynonna’s direction and got fat when I let go of the previous methods I used to manage my weight. I’m glad I let them go because they were dangerous. More dangerous than letting myself get a little heavy. Regardless, I did always turn to food as a coping mechanism.

Now I’m very used to dealing with my drama and know myself very well. I haven’t changed completely but I’m much more moderate and less extreme now. I just want to continue to get better.

Posted by hopeful @ July 10, 2006 2:34 PM