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June 22, 2006

We got some offers

The day before yesterday we got two offers on the house. I know I should have an exclamation point in there somewhere but I don’t want to get too excited. The offers were good but we are countering on a couple of points that could be deal breakers. I just want to make sure these people have the financial means to make it all work out. I wish it could be a clear cut decision so I could just move on with confidence but of course that could never be the way for me.

As a result of all this, the past couple of days have been a little stressful. My mind tends to go blank and focusing gets difficult. For the first time in a long time, last night, I ate to relax myself, just as someone would need a smoke, a drink, or a hit. I actually had a glass of wine too. I was feeling tense and I just wanted to submerge myself in food (my drug of choice). I didn’t go off the hook and binge, but I did have a crazy fattening bagel that I sliced in thirds to increase the surface area for the sumptuous spreads. One was loaded with just pools of butter, one was butter and thinly sliced brie cheese that melted perfectly, and the last was butter and cream cheese. This, with my wine, was heaven.

I did, despite the craziness, manage to go to the gym yesterday for the second half of my orientation and it was awesome. I can’t wait to get back to my routine of being able to go to the gym regularly again. I now have had the full circuit training and am excited to workout my whole body.

I want to lose weight before my husband gets back from California so that I can look different to him. It looks like he might get home sooner than I thought. I have so many events planned for this summer it’s going to be challenging to stick to my weight loss plan. In the past I always looked forward to events like weddings, vacations, etc. because of all the great and special food I’d get to eat. Now I have to, and hope I can, think differently. Maybe the frequency of all these events will help diminish that feeling that “I better eat up because I might not have the opportunity again” feeling. I tend to get it even if I know I’m going out to eat the very next day.

Yesterday was the first day of summer. Maybe I should just walk around in my bathing suit and use humiliation tactics to keep me away from food.

Posted by hopeful @ June 22, 2006 9:40 AM