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June 29, 2006

Trying to keep it together

There have been some great aspects to this week and some low points. The good news is that I’ve done really well with working out and staying active. I’ve gotten my daughter on a slightly earlier schedule (although, this will all be blown to bits after staying this holiday weekend at my brothers.) And she may have actually spent 20 minutes at Kid Central (while I worked out) without shedding a tear, unless the lady lied to me. So I’m starting to feel like maybe I can do this.

Well, I had a lot of confidence until last night. Late last night I started to feel something rage inside me. That monster that wants to eat even though my body isn’t hungry. I felt ravenous. It was mental not physical. I went for popcorn because that satiates me salt-wise and I can eat more for less. But I didn’t stop there. I had a bagel loaded with butter and brie again. Then, to end the madness before it got even worse, I guzzled down nearly two liters of crystal light lemonade. That did the trick and laid the monster to rest.

My stomach was so distended that, when I crashed in bed face down, I was like a seesaw. I mournfully slumped over my belly and had to roll on my side. I had flashbacks to my ninth month of prego-ness.

Two cups of coffee this morning did the trick to help me pass that state of fullness I woke up with. I then forced myself to go to the gym. Although I didn’t eat well today I will still weigh myself tomorrow. I’ll face the music and continue to try and stick to my plan.

I don’t feel like I’m in a cycle of falling and picking myself up. It feels more like I have a fire hose blasted on me and although my body (relative to the ground) is moving backwards sometimes, I’m always making the motions to move forward. Like a moon walk meets Flash Dance kind of move. I’ve kept up momentum (mentally) while still having setbacks (physically).

Posted by hopeful @ June 29, 2006 10:02 PM