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May 2, 2006

Operation Butt

A success! I’m so happy it’s over. I’m in quite a bit of pain, but I’m so happy I don’t even care. I was so afraid that I just feel elated now. The recovery is going to be lengthy because they had to put in a thick plastic tie that is going to work its way out slowly through the muscle. It’s pretty ugly. They had to use this method to ensure that I wouldn’t have lasting muscle damage.

I weighed in yesterday on my scale at 166.6. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Evil scale! The hospital’s scale confirmed my digital spawn of the devil’s numbers. I fear this is only going to get worse as my appetite has not waned at all.

I’ve been looking to food as a sedative and an escape. Right now I wish I had the will power to be more assertive and stop feeling so defenseless. I wallow in self pity and turn to food to feel better. It’s totally false and imagined. I have to let go of excuses.

Speaking of sedative, where’s that painkiller?

Posted by hopeful @ May 2, 2006 7:51 PM