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May 15, 2006

9 more days and counting

There’s so much going on in my head right now that it feels blank. I have only nine days left in California before I head home to N.J. I haven’t done anything to prepare. This isn’t the worst thing because my husband will actually be here and can take care of anything I need him to.

I’m amazed that this is actually happening. I’m glad that the only thing I’ll really have to deal with is the shock of the transition. Once reality sets in I can get my ducks in a row.

In light of all this, my broken butt, and the inability to exercise I haven’t been paying any attention to my diet. I’m afraid to look at the scale and see the result of damages I inflicted over the weekend.

I’m going to go easy on myself because I’m going through a lot. When I get my health back and can exercise and get back on the wagon I’ll repair the damages. But I was hoping that I had changed enough over the course of this past year (and then some) that my eating wouldn’t go to crap the moment I had to deal with some adversity.

When the eating, exercise, and weight slide it only compounds other life issues and makes them that much more difficult to handle. I wish it didn’t have to be one thing or the other with me. The weight, eating, and exercising OR life issues.

I haven’t entirely lost a grip on it and crossed over into a complete denial where I stop acknowledging what I eat, etc. I still feel motivated to be active and exercise, although I can’t do much. So I’m hopeful that getting back on track won’t be too difficult.

Oh, have I mentioned I’m in crunch time at work for a very important project. This is going to be a very interesting week (plus a few). If nothing else, I will keep track of the weight I gain. We’ll see how much I can keep it together. I am eternally hopeful. Hence the name.

Posted by hopeful @ May 15, 2006 12:08 PM