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March 1, 2006

This website is not about bathroom antics

But I just have let the world (well, the few who read this site) know this. I went into the bathroom at work this morning. All four of the stalls were full and it was stinky. I suppose everybody’s morning coffee had simultaneously kicked in. Just as I was about to start fake reading the information on the tampon machine one bathroom became free.

After I managed to wriggle free a toilet seat cover with NO tears (I won’t use one where the sanitary integrity is compromised, dang it) I settled down to relieve myself of # 1. Not # 2 like, apparently, everybody else. Within a minute there was an orchestra of flushes and the bathroom cleared out in one swoop.

I trailed out another 30 seconds later (because I only had to do # 1, remember?!) I walked out of the stall and headed toward the sink looking down to make sure I had no wrinkles and such. Just as I looked up I came (what felt like) face to face with a woman who just entered the bathroom and had a stunned expression. She couldn’t quite hide her disgust as she was slammed in the face by the horrible odor. I could swear I heard the drums bang in the background. It was one of those movie moments that linger a minute too long.

I was so embarrassed while I washed my hands and I could tell she was trying to determine where the strongest part of the storm cloud was lingering to avoid it in her stall choice. I tried to think of a dialog where I could mention that it wasn’t me but by that time she had already entered a stall and that’s yet another annoyance of mine. I don’t appreciate when strangers strike up a conversation with me as I’m taking a seat.

I had no recourse and now she thinks it was me responsible for four peoples worth of stink. That’s why I had to tell you I didn’t do it.

Posted by hopeful @ March 1, 2006 2:29 PM