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March 22, 2006

Pictures that I don’t hate

Here are some pictures from a couple of weeks ago. A day before the explosion come to think if it. I was probably 2 pounds thinner in these pictures but that shouldn’t make too much of a difference. When my friend sent them to me over email, just yesterday, I wasn’t repulsed. Despite not showering because I was gearing up for a day of home improvement, I don’t mind the way I looked.

This is very new to me. I avoid cameras like a celebrity entering rehab. If you look back on most years of my life you couldn’t prove I existed. I’m definitely becoming more willing to have pictures taken and not so afraid to see the results.

Better yet, this past weekend we taped ourselves on TV and I was beyond pleased with myself actually. One of the city council meetings was aired on our local cable channel. My husband and I spoke out, along with the community, about our disapproval of the city’s actions or inactions toward our menacing neighbor despite a million warnings. It was a very dramatic event and makes me cry to watch it. Still, through my tears I’m like "wheh-hew" I look good.

So I’m hoping to hold on to these two things (the pictures and the video) to remind me not to let go of this and let any weight creep back on. I don’t want to be looking back on these and thinking I barely remember what that felt like and if only I could get it back (like so many times in the past). Rather, I want to be saying "huh, I can now pull those pants off without unbuttoning them".

Posted by hopeful @ March 22, 2006 8:26 AM