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March 18, 2006

Desperately seeking motivation

Most Saturday mornings I spend a few hours catching up on my blog reading. I’m also always searching for new stories. It’s an addiction I want to feed. I want to see more pictures and read about success. Maybe I’m living vicariously through other people’s achievements since I haven’t been progressing myself right now.

I am hoping to find a story so motivating it knocks my over this hump I’ve been stuck behind for months. In that case I will be endlessly searching. I know this will never happen because something inside me is preventing myself from moving forward.

Denial can really cloud my judgment. What on earth am I unsatisfied with? Do required changes I need to make terrify me? Maybe denial is subconsciously protecting me from going through a lot of hurt.

I’ve been thinking about not posting this because I don’t want to open a can of worms with honesty and I’m not sure I will pursue this avenue any further. I’ll probably just close the lid on this case and let it fester forever.

I’m hoping to find the solution to weight loss and self-satisfaction without having to conjure or purge every demon in my closet. On that note I have to go battle this sudden craving for potato chips that just swept upon me.

Posted by hopeful @ March 18, 2006 10:57 AM