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February 7, 2006

Old picture

I found this old picture of myself the other day as I was looking for before pictures of my kitchen. I’m not sure exactly when it was taken but I’m guessing it was about a year ago close to the time that I started my blog and weight loss journey. This is approximately me at my heaviest.

This picture was taken for an application to one of those home makeover shows. We were hoping to be selected for a show called Home Intervention. It seemed like we got very close to getting selected. We met with producers and they really liked us and emailed me to send more pictures of our home, etc. We were very excited and then very much let down as is the more common tale.

The reason I mention this is because I didn’t volunteer to be in pictures often. More accurately I never did. It had to be something real important to have me drag myself in front of the camera. That was one of the driving forces behind my motivation now. I didn’t want my daughter to not be able to look back at my life when she was first born. She’d think that I didn’t exist. I love looking at pictures of my mother when we were kids. She looked like a sexier Audrey Hepburn and I thought she was a movie star. I want to create the possibility of the same experience for my baby.

I want to go look for more pictures of myself at that time because I see myself so differently now. I remember looking at this picture and thinking that it looked pretty good considering I hated my weight. I often would look at pictures and stop seeing the weight as though I became so used to and familiar with it. Lately I’ve put that time out of my mind as though it was a bad dream. I haven’t even been able to look at my before progress picture for a while. I just cringe. After seeing this picture I feel ready to take a look at myself once again and appreciate where I am today. This weekend I want to take a mirror picture of this one so we can compare :-)

Posted by hopeful @ February 7, 2006 8:03 AM