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January 11, 2006

A tad bi-polar

I’m not sure I should throw around a term like that so loosely but I do seem to go from one extreme to the other. After writing that post about how bad I felt yesterday I went home from work and had a pretty good night. And today I feel great.

I’ve had great workouts all week and last night, while I did have a big dinner, I left it at that. I stopped eating after it was over and didn’t have another bite for the rest of the night. I desperately fought the urge. Previously I had been eating from the moment I got home until I went to bed.

I think the difference was that I resigned myself to not getting anything done. I just enjoyed playing with my daughter and caught a few glimpses of the TV in the background. I relieved myself of the responsibility to be productive. Why I put pressure on myself to get stuff done all the time, I don’t know. The guilt I feel when I’m doing nothing but relaxing, makes relaxing impossible and makes me want to eat destructively.

Last night I just relaxed and it made resisting temptation a lot easier. I was conscious of it for sure, but it was doable. The previous nights I felt out of control.

Today I feel great because I’m starting vacation in about 2 hours. I’m not sure how I’ll eat on vacation yet, but I know I’m going to be feeling good. I plan to enjoy being with my family and carve out some time to do home improvement and some other personal stuff.

I want to revive this website a bit. Give it a bit of a face lift with stats always visible along with my email and who knows what else. More pictures will definitely be posted over the next week. They are not going to show progress since there hasn’t been any but I need the constant reminder of where I’m at.

Hopefully I’m not being too ambitious with what I want to accomplish over the next week. I have to remind myself to go with the flow and just enjoy the time.

Posted by hopeful @ January 11, 2006 3:23 PM