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December 19, 2005

And I thought last Monday was bad (167)

I’ve crept up yet even further. I now have gained 4 pounds over my most recent low. I was on a roll when I hit 163 almost three months ago. Then one day it seemed to just stop.

The beginning of my plateau coincided with starting this new job. I really need to learn coping skills. Apparently I’ve been coping with the stress of the new job, a wicked commute, and a lot less free time by eating more and less healthy.

This job also had a huge impact on my timeframe for moving back home to NJ. I have almost no time for the home improvement I need to finish. This is very depressing for me as I want to move home more than anything. Compounding that depression is the inability to spend any time with my daughter. The little time I have with her is also compromised because I’m so tired and nerve wracked.

If I let go of my weight loss it will just make everything a million times worse. I could really use the great feeling of successfully losing weight and being able to look in the mirror and feel more confident. When I have that it makes me feel like I can conquer anything. When I don’t I’m next to immobilized.

Because weight loss doesn’t come naturally to me and requires a fair amount of my resources (thought, energy, etc) somehow I have to figure out how to balance all of this. I keep trying to tell myself it should only be a couple more months until things settle down.

On a positive note: Last week I tried working out during lunch. It required that I take a shower and all but it was no problem. So I think I’ve found a routine that might be more successful for me to incorporate more workouts during the week. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed and holding my breath for the next few months.

Posted by hopeful @ December 19, 2005 10:52 AM