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November 22, 2005

I gotta know right now! Before we go any further --!

I was looking at old wedding pictures because I am pretty sure that I weighed about what I do now. It’s not easy to find pictures of myself, period, not to mention pictures after I started gaining weight.

Around my wedding time, I weighed what I do now but I was on the upswing of my weight gain. I was just looking at the pictures for a reference but they brought back so many memories of how self-conscious I was. You can see me clinging to the bottom of my sweater to prevent it from riding up or to use it to conceal my belly.

I loved my wedding outfit and I loved the way my husband looked. We matched wonderfully. I wore black and lavender. Surprise surprise. I had to choose a slimming color. It was such a struggle looking for a wedding dress. I wanted something frilly, beautiful, and princess like. I just couldn’t do it because I thought I looked too terrible.

It makes me sad that I felt like I couldn’t wear a more ‘wedding-esque’ dress then. I feel like I’d have the confidence now. It wouldn’t be ideal, but I could do it and it probably would feel like a fairy tale.

I’ve never had an opportunity to wear a hot sexy dress either. Prior to my wedding the only fancy dress I ever wore was a prom dress. And of course the hot prom dress movement didn’t happen until the year after I graduated. Seriously it was probably that close. Damn the ‘80s. My prom dress was black too (see I was never stupid). Well the top two thirds of it anyway. Oh gosh, it’s all coming back to me. It was long sleeve black velvet with a crew neck (insert dry heave). The bottom third had two balloon layers of white satin (yes just like shades). I’m pretty sure I wore white satin dye-ables un-dyed. So help me, I hope I didn’t wear black stockings, but I’m not sure. If I haven’t burned every copy of my prom pictures I’m going to have to go find them at my parents. I promise I’ll post it.

My junior prom, we will never speak of again. I looked like a Mormon or a church go-er and for better or worse I am far from either of those.

Anywhoo, I’m sure you’re wondering why on earth I would tease you and not post at least one picture after all of that. As I was looking at my wedding pictures I thought that I might post them with NO PINK DOT! Then I thought maybe I should ask what anybody who cared thought. I certainly don’t assume many people care but I am curious if any do. I have a major crush on Geese Aplenty (from my favorites list) and don’t like to look when he posts his picture. I want to pretend he looks like John Cusak in High Fidelity.

So tell me in the comments whether or not you want the dot. I’ll post the pictures tomorrow night.

I will say goodnight with a song

I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me !!!?
Will you love me forever !!!?

AND YOU SAY

Let me sleep on it
Baby, baby let me sleep on it

That was Meat Loaf --› Paradise by The Dashboard Light, of which no prom was without back in the '80s. But don't act like you didn't know ;-)

Posted by hopeful @ November 22, 2005 11:42 PM