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November 10, 2005

Bathroom etiquette 101

Today I went into the bathroom for a break. I wanted to just sit on the toilet and relax. I took a peak under the stalls and there didn’t appear to be anybody there. So I leisurely washed my hands then went to take a seat. I could have fell asleep it was so comfortable. All seats should be made like the toilet. I love ‘em.

I don’t know how much time passed, because I was lost in my Zen moment, when I heard the toilet paper dispenser in a far stall rattling quite violently. It was jarring. I know I didn’t hear anybody enter. Sure enough when I bent down to look under the stalls there were no feet.

I always get nervous looking under the stall from my toilet. I’m reminded of a story my sister told me where she and a women in the neighboring stall did the underneath peak simultaneously. Their eyes met as their heads where between their knees for what felt like an eternity. At which point my sister obliged the woman with the acknowledging nod. Just imaging that! UUhhh.

I decided to leave once I heard that noise because it could only mean one of two things. Some one is trying to signal to me for privacy to take a dump or the t.p. dispenser is possessed. Either way I wanted out.

The noise got progressively worse with the addition of crunching of the paper seat covers. I guess the lady didn’t get it that I was leaving. Maybe she was at her wits end restraining that poo. I really wanted to crack up at the thought of her holding her feet up that whole time employing the “hide” technique. A sympathetic crack up of course, I’ve been in her shoes.

I totally followed bathroom etiquette the moment I realized she was in there and hauled ass out. I wasn’t about to torture her and I hope someone would do the same for me. I’m sure my day will come. Ahhh, the stuff I took for granted working from home.

Posted by hopeful @ November 10, 2005 11:54 PM