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September 14, 2005

What is rightly mine

Have you seen that commercial that goes something like this?

There’s an average Joe standing in line at a bank. A wealthier looking person walks in and steps into a side door. The Joe decides to follow suit and enters a fancy room where it looks like a royal ball is going on. He utters his surprise that an average person could get treated this special. When the hosts of the party hear this they take immediate measures to remove him.

Today I felt privy to the rooms that thinner people frequent. These rooms I speak of are a metaphor for really nice treatment by HOT guys! Wheh-hew!

I started a project to tile the entry to my house and went to my local home improvement store to buy all the materials. First of all, it is a lot easier to get assistance now. When I asked the cute guy in the tile department about what I should use to cut slate tile he went above and beyond and proceeded to give me a whole demonstration. He said that he’d be happy to cut my tiles for me if I just go home and mark them. He gave me his marking pencil (that they sell there), his name (so I could just come in and ask for him), and told me he would be there until eleven (they close at ten). How’s that for service?

I went to another DIY store where they have bigger slate tiles for cheaper. The cashier lady informed me they could do the cuts there for fifty cents a cut. When I went back for the cuts I ran into hot guy number two. For a second I actually pondered a correlation between hot guys and tile cutting. How dumb, the ratio of hot guys in construction and home improvement is off the charts in my book so it was a likely scenario. Anyway, I was expecting a ticket or something when he was done but he just gave me a great smile and told me not to worry about it. He sent me on my way with a really nice “have a great night”. I’m not even laying it on thick, he was being cutesy with me. I know that being a woman in a home improvement store gives me an edge to begin with, but I really believe my weight (or lack of it) made the difference.

I’m going to put this theory to the test when I get my car inspected. My car is not so much a car as it is a golf cart. Ford Festiva, vintage ’89, need I say more? No. I need all the help I can get.

So is this how it is? Thin people get free stuff? I may have stolen those cuts today, but this is just the beginning. I’m going to steal back everything that was rightly mine even when I was heavier.

Posted by hopeful @ September 14, 2005 11:05 PM