Hopeful Loser

There’s an average Joe standing in line at a bank. A wealthier looking person walks in and steps into a side door. The Joe decides to follow suit and enters a fancy room where it looks like a royal ball is going on. He utters his surprise that an average person could get treated this special. When the hosts of the party hear this they take immediate measures to remove him.

Today I felt privy to the rooms that thinner people frequent. These rooms I speak of are a metaphor for really nice treatment by HOT guys! Wheh-hew!

I started a project to tile the entry to my house and went to my local home improvement store to buy all the materials. First of all, it is a lot easier to get assistance now. When I asked the cute guy in the tile department about what I should use to cut slate tile he went above and beyond and proceeded to give me a whole demonstration. He said that he’d be happy to cut my tiles for me if I just go home and mark them. He gave me his marking pencil (that they sell there), his name (so I could just come in and ask for him), and told me he would be there until eleven (they close at ten). How’s that for service?

I went to another DIY store where they have bigger slate tiles for cheaper. The cashier lady informed me they could do the cuts there for fifty cents a cut. When I went back for the cuts I ran into hot guy number two. For a second I actually pondered a correlation between hot guys and tile cutting. How dumb, the ratio of hot guys in construction and home improvement is off the charts in my book so it was a likely scenario. Anyway, I was expecting a ticket or something when he was done but he just gave me a great smile and told me not to worry about it. He sent me on my way with a really nice “have a great night”. I’m not even laying it on thick, he was being cutesy with me. I know that being a woman in a home improvement store gives me an edge to begin with, but I really believe my weight (or lack of it) made the difference.

I’m going to put this theory to the test when I get my car inspected. My car is not so much a car as it is a golf cart. Ford Festiva, vintage ’89, need I say more? No. I need all the help I can get.

So is this how it is? Thin people get free stuff? I may have stolen those cuts today, but this is just the beginning. I’m going to steal back everything that was rightly mine even when I was heavier.

Comments

Oh, the days of the Ford Festiva. I had an '88 for a few years. I really miss it (and the gas mileage). You could get anywhere in one of those, and at the time that I had it, $10 would fill the tank from just about bone dry. Won't see those days again. So, are you getting the 35mpg that I used to get with mine? Do they make that in an automatic? Mine was a standard. They're really small cars, too, but that's alright.

So what do you think about the new season of "The Biggest Loser" so far? I liked the first show, and I really have to root (or is it route) for the biggest guy there (Jeff).

For anybody wondering how I shape up, there's a pic of me, here...
http://profile.myspace.com/bigk75
(Maybe I'll get on there next season)
Kevin

Posted by: Kevin at September 15, 2005 9:03 AM

thinner people do indeed have the upper hand. especially when it comes to dealing with men. they seem to be much more "friendly" when u don't carry around as much weight. sad but true (thats just my two cents:))

Posted by: monica at September 15, 2005 3:56 PM

So true! Sad, but true, but as a fellow-loser - and always hopeful I'm finding this to be sooooooooooo true. I like your attitude of 'taking it back'.

Ditto.

'Bout time...

*yeah*

Posted by: Queen at September 15, 2005 5:34 PM

Hey Kev, I can't believe I didn't even realize that BL started! I'm going to watch the re-run this saturday.

Do I have to register to see your profile?

I'm going to have to write more about my car, it's a crack up!

Posted by: hopeful at September 15, 2005 11:33 PM

No, you should be able to go right to that site. Give it a try. If there are issues (which I don't think there will be), send me an e-mail.

Posted by: Kevin at September 16, 2005 8:52 AM