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August 24, 2005

I Rocked My Outfit

I was a little late this morning but I didn’t mind because my hair and makeup kicked butt and I was rockin’ my outfit. Nothing fazed me even as Murphy’s Law reared its head around every corner.

When I finally got out to my car, no less than 45 minutes after I had planned to leave, I realized that I needed gas. I proceeded to the one gas station that would keep me heading in the right direction and was really the only one on the way. I probably don’t even have to mention that there was a long line of cars. This is the last gas station in California that hasn’t converted to the easy self service, credit card takin’ pump. There is one centrally located machine that only takes cash and ATM cards and you have to pre-pay. How the heck are you supposed to know how much gas it’s going to take to fill your car?

It seems as though I must not have bought gas since I was in high school. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to buy 7 dollars worth of gas. Has anybody seen the gas prices in California? Where were you today, when I needed you? I didn’t even realize what I had done until it took about a half a second for the pump to come to a screeching halt. Sale: $7.00 Gallons: 2.6. The moment: *effin’ priceless.

Making me even later wasn’t my concern at that point; I was just too embarrassed to go back and purchase more. I took my chances and made it just fine.

When I walked in the office, I was greeted by the first of my co-workers with a surprised “wow, you look…cute.” She said it really nicely. I could tell she almost used the word “great” but because we don’t know each other too well, she didn’t want to indicate to me that she ever thought I didn’t look good before.

I met a couple people for the first time, so they wouldn’t know any better, and a few other people were out of the office. So it was pretty uneventful as far as acknowledgements. But for me there was a noticeable difference in the vibe. It was as though I got a big hairy mole removed from my cheek. They seemed more comfortable looking at me and shootin’ the poo.

This is an office of Barbies and Kens. None of the three, long haired, attractive women weigh more than 115. That’s not an exaggeration. Even the heaviest guy probably doesn’t weigh more than 175. Conversations are often about mountain biking and rafting. I think they were afraid (when I was heavier), without even realizing it, a fat joke would slip out or at least a comment about “un-fitness”. So now they are more at ease with me. It’s as though it never happened.

I was going to say that I just had a regular normal day. But I didn’t really; it was always in the back of my mind that things are different now that I’ve lost weight. They’re nicer to me. People in general are nicer to me. I get more attention from guys. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great day and I’m very happy. But it’s kind of like a kid who catches a glimpse of Mickey Mouse taking off the head of his costume to sneak a smoke. I’ve become a bit disillusioned because I’ve seen a (not so nice) side of many people, while at my heaviest, that I wouldn’t have seen at my current weight.

Posted by hopeful @ August 24, 2005 12:23 AM