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June 27, 2005

Boobies

Yet another reminder in what way I am not like the women in my aerobics tapes. They are all so thin and perfect that practically nothing on them moves when they are vigorously jumping up and down. I however, have a bunch of flabby parts flapping around making clapping noises as though I have my own audience and some one has turned on the “applause” sign.

The only thing that really moves on these women is their boobs. They jiggle ever so slightly like little Jello snack packs. Mine are like wrecking balls. I could take down a building in just a few jumping jacks.

The upside is that I will be submitting a patent for a boob containing device. I can’t divulge the prototype completely but it involves duct tape, chicken wire, scaffolding, and a secret recipe for a mixture of cement, super glue, and other natural ingredients.

Posted by hopeful @ June 27, 2005 3:13 PM