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June 30, 2005

I'll take my chances

I really am striving to be healthy. That’s why articles such as this make me a little nervous. You don’t have to go read it; basically it’s about research that shows moderately overweight people might be better off staying at their current weight rather than dieting to lose it. (It doesn’t apply to people whose weight is such that it causes other health problems.) They didn’t know why it appeared that people who dieted seemed to die younger than their non-dieting counter parts (they studied twins). I always heard that yo-yo dieting could be bad for you, I also never knew why.

In this other article they mentioned that a “study in The Journal of the American Medical Association suggested that people who are somewhat overweight, but not obese, have a lower risk of dying in a given year than those of normal weight.” That’s probably because “normal” in today’s social (bastardized) standards translates to TOO SKINNY for Mother Nature’s standards and “somewhat overweight” is probably JUST RIGHT.

It doesn’t surprise me that our bodies don’t respond well to starving ourselves. I wish I had never gotten heavy in the first place but I'll take my chances dieting.

Posted by hopeful @ 11:30 PM • Comments (1)

June 29, 2005

We’re Officially a Team!

Occasionally I post on The Biggest Loser message board. It was that show, after all, which inspired me to lose weight. The show aired around the time I was the heaviest I’d ever been in my whole life. I fantasized about being on the show and went to the auditions for season 2. We arrived an hour, or so, after they started and when I saw the mile long line of hopeful contestants I told my husband to keep driving. We never even slowed down and I have never looked back. I couldn’t be happier.

I often mention this site on the board. The other day I saw this post in a thread that I was involved in.

Josiej: (I'd put Hopeful's little team up against Bob or Jillian's any day of the week.)

I was stoked! We are definitely a team and we’re doing damn good. Every one of us weighs less than when we started. And may I remind you of our collective loss.

Our goal as a team is simply to keep each other motivated. There is no competition and we shouldn’t worry about any setbacks or temporary gains, except to keep them temporary. We’re on a long term mission and while we’re enjoying the rest of our lives at our healthy weight the extra week or two it took us to get there will only amount to a blip in time.

I have 25 pounds in the bag and I’m feeling great. (FYI, I really only started getting excited after the first 10 and that’s when my motivation started snowballing.) I am setting out to lose about 80 pounds and am only about a third of the way there but I’m feeling awesome already. So there are rewards along the way. We don’t even need to be close to our goal weight to feel great and reap the rewards.

I started this almost 4 months ago in hopes to be significantly smaller by the time my family went on vacation to the Jersey shore. I had figured that I could lose 10 pounds per month, but that didn’t happen. In the past that would have discouraged me. Not this time, though. I’ve never been happier to have lost 25 pounds. If I had let that discourage me and sabotage my efforts I wouldn’t even be 186. That would suck.

Motto: Don’t get discouraged, even at a slow rate or a just few pounds lost we are better off than we were!

Now, while I’m basking in the sun on the beach, I will be a lot less likely to get harpooned. I can relax, enjoy myself, and hope to catch a glimpse of Bon Jovi or The Boss.

Posted by hopeful @ 12:54 PM • Comments (4)

June 27, 2005

Boobies

Yet another reminder in what way I am not like the women in my aerobics tapes. They are all so thin and perfect that practically nothing on them moves when they are vigorously jumping up and down. I however, have a bunch of flabby parts flapping around making clapping noises as though I have my own audience and some one has turned on the “applause” sign.

The only thing that really moves on these women is their boobs. They jiggle ever so slightly like little Jello snack packs. Mine are like wrecking balls. I could take down a building in just a few jumping jacks.

The upside is that I will be submitting a patent for a boob containing device. I can’t divulge the prototype completely but it involves duct tape, chicken wire, scaffolding, and a secret recipe for a mixture of cement, super glue, and other natural ingredients.

Posted by hopeful @ 3:13 PM • Comments (9)

June 26, 2005

Charts 6/20/05

Here are the two progress charts. I think I'm missing a bunch of people's weigh-in for the week of 6/20 - 6/24. So if anyone sees any problems with this, just email me about it and I'll fix it.

Progress Chart Group 1 - 6/20/05

Progress Chart Group 2 - 6/20/05

Posted by hopeful @ 11:33 AM • Comments (3)

June 24, 2005

I don't like Mirrors

Because I think I’m all thin I walk around in tight yoga pants and a tank top (only at home, I’m not totally insane). I bounce around all happy because in my mind I look like the women in my aerobics tapes. Everything is great until I happen upon myself in a reflection of a window or mirror. Suddenly I have tunnel vision and am frozen like a deer in headlights to that terrifying image. The image zooms quickly back and forth between near and far (cue screeching sound effects). Sigh…. ohh man… I’m like both characters from Shallow Hal in one person.

My confidence got the best of me again when I went to the mall to buy some new clothes. I went into Lane Bryant and everything looked great and promising. Of course it would, because when they put the clothes on the not-so heavy mannequins they cinch them back with pins. This was, in no way, representative of what they would look like on me. I was completely misled and picked out items that, of course, I have no business wearing. I strutted my stuff over to the dressing room waving around my skimpy selections like I was on the flag team or marching band.

I threw on my first outfit in a flash. I was in shock when I looked in the mirror. First of all, what were they thinking putting that bright, hot, overhead spotlight in the dressing room? All I could see was miles of skin that looked like the surface of the moon.

Needless to say, I left immediately and work a lot harder to avoid mirrors now.

On a more practical note, Torrid is a better place to shop. I think that their styles are more realistic for heavy women and they’re cooler. They actually have larger women of different shapes and sizes modeling their clothes as opposed to small mannequins.

Posted by hopeful @ 10:40 AM • Comments (9)

June 23, 2005

The June Nudies

I decided to take my pictures this morning. I've been doing it around the 22nd of each month so I'll stick close to that. Of course as luck would have it that coincides with "that time" of the month! I weighed myself this morning so I have an exact record for the pictures and was so excited to see 186!!

Here goes! It looks like everything is continuing to tighten and get smaller. That stomach is going to be the last to go. Since getting prego, my stomach will never be what it used to. It's worth every minute being a mom, though.

May	June

Here are the outlines superimposed over each other. The blue is the most recent profile.

Now I'll compare the first picture and the latest again, since I love this part the best!

February	June

I love that! I still can't believe it!

Posted by hopeful @ 10:56 AM • Comments (12)

June 22, 2005

Hi Family!!!

That would be my brother, sister, and her boyfriend.

Yup, I finally got up the courage to tell them about this site. I’m feeling so good about it that I don’t even care that they will see me in all my nudie glory! My figure in the first picture I took of myself looks like TONY friggin’ SOPRANO! (Had to be said that way.)

I actually think Tony Soprano is hot. My problem is that I don’t have the bad ass mob boss attitude workin’ for me yet.

Once I do I’ll be hot too

Posted by hopeful @ 3:25 PM • Comments (2)

June 21, 2005

What I Eat & How I Exercise

This will be a quick post about how I’m maintaining an average 2 pound per week weight loss.

Food
For breakfast most mornings I have a soy protein shake (made with soy milk). I don’t eat dairy unless I’m out at a restaurant and there is no alternative. Other breakfast options are veggie meat products like Boca breakfast patties, etc. I keep the carb consumption low. At breakfast I have the most will power so the shake usually fills me and sustains me until lunch.

Before I get too hungry I eat lunch. Usually something like a veggie meat sandwich, veggie dogs, or Celantanos vegan entrees (they are so good and low in fat and calories). Most days I’ll eat a ton of steamed broccoli with lunch. Oh yeah, I drink a large glass of chrystal light lemonade to help fill me up.

If I need to snack before dinner, I eat steamed broccoli if I didn’t have it for lunch or plain tofu (I love it, but most people probably wouldn’t), or fruit. If I’m really hungry I’ll have plain veggie meat something or other.

For dinner I pay the least attention to what I eat. Stir fry tofu & veggies with rice, mushroom raviolis with marinara sauce, veggie meat product of some kind.

Most nights I eat a snack size bag of microwave popcorn. The snack size is the best and I don’t get light or anything, I actually eat the “movie theatre butter” one.

Basically, I generally stay away from too many carbs. With the mostly vegan diet you don’t really have to think about it too hard because everything is lower in fat and calories (and absolutely none of the bad fat). I stay away from too many oils, etc. If I eat something that is more fattening (like tater tots, love 'em!), then I stay strick to the serving size (I count out 12 and no more).

Note
I gradually learned to eat this way, and it gets easier over time. I’ve stopped craving some of the junky stuff. I completely abstain from many snack foods, that way I forget what they taste like and crave them less. If I were to occasionally indulge then I fear I might think about them too often. Also, if I start feeling down in the dumps (or hungry or whatever), I leave the house and go to a park or mall with my daughter. Buying me something fun is good too. Worst case scenario, I do a chore or home improvement project. I try and distract myself in other ways now and it is working. I’m learning that I was eating for reasons other than really being hungry. I'm trying to learn to eat to fuel my body and be healthy, not for recreation (I know that's cliche, but I'm going to convince myself of that).

Exercise
As many days as I can, which turns out to be about 5 days a week, I do an aerobic tape. Sometimes I do my elliptical trainer if I feel like I need to mix it up or if I worked out my muscles too hard. The aerobic tapes I do are The Firm. I’ve said it before, they are the best! They do aerobics and weights. So you feel like you’re getting a great workout. They are under 50 minutes. I do the “Tough aerobics mix” and the “not-so tough aerobics”.

Lastly
I don’t know if this helps but something that I’ve been doing from the beginning is listening to a hypnosis CD when I go to bed. I have this series for losing weight but I only listen to one of them. I don’t have the details near me now but I’ll get them later for anyone who is interested. I really got it to relax myself and help me fall asleep and to practice meditation sometimes. I think it’s good to take time out for yourself and relax. I also believe when you hear something enough it has an impact (look at advertising, that works). So if I repeatedly hear these good messages, maybe it will too.

So I don’t know if it’s made a difference, but I enjoy it when I go to sleep, and thus far it hasn’t hurt!

That’s about it. I gradually got to this point weaning myself off certain types of bad foods and building up to my exercise routine.

Posted by hopeful @ 9:58 AM • Comments (5)

June 20, 2005

188!

Wow, I’m plugging away. I can hardly believe it. I’ve lost a total of 23 pounds since starting this endeavor. I probably weighed even more before recording my official start weight but was too afraid to get on the scale until I knew I was beginning to lose.

It’s slow, but steady, and I’m happy to say that my enthusiasm is growing. I’m not going to go nuts and try and lose much more than the average two pounds per week it’s just that it is getting easier for me to work out (motivation wise and physically), eat healthy, and not scarf down everything on the menu when I go out to eat.

I will always have to be a conscious eater forever. I won’t be cured once I get to my goal weight and be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I will always have to choose ‘active’ mode as opposed to ‘stationary’ and indulge only 2% of the time instead of 98%. But I can live with that, because this past three months or so haven’t been that bad. The benefits have far outweighed the difficulties of the process.

I want to write more on this but have to get back to work. This weekend I’m going to publish my next phase of nudie shots. I love calling them nude even though, I’m not really, because then when all those pervos out there google ‘nude pics’ they’ll hit this site and get the rude awakening they deserve! Just kidding, I like looking at real nude pictures too, and wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.

Posted by hopeful @ 2:52 PM • Comments (14)

June 17, 2005

Progress & Percentage Charts 6/13/05

Since we added a bunch of people I had to start another chart for the newest additions.

This is for the weigh-in this past Monday (I round everybody's day to the nearest Monday).

**You'll have to click "Continue reading...", below, to see the charts, I didn't want it to take up the whole page :-)**

Progress Chart Group 1 - 6/13/05

Progress Chart Group 2 - 6/13/05

Percentage to Goal Chart Group 1 - 6/13/05

Percentage to Goal Chart Group 2 - 6/13/05

To join up, just email her@hopefulloser.com and put something like "Charts" or "Progress Charts" in the subject so that I can easily sift through all my email to find it.

Posted by hopeful @ 10:45 PM • Comments (6)

June 16, 2005

7.0 On the Richter scale

There have been a series of earthquakes here in California recently. Coincidentally they coincide with when I started doing the Firm’s "Tough Aerobic Mix" tapes. Also, when I looked up the epicenters they were alarmingly close to my living room. Might I have some explaining to do?

Posted by hopeful @ 2:25 PM • Comments (5)

190.7

I weighed in on Monday at 190.7. Damn that .7! I’m still holding on to the majority of the one hundred and ninety first pound. Am I even justified in saying I weigh 190?! Who knows what the scale would have read had I not done my weigh in ritual of "dropping the kids off at the pool" (as they say).

You know what I love to do? I suspend myself between the sink and the towel rack and hold myself so that the scale reads 120. I relish the moment and fantasize that it’s really happening. That is, until my body starts to tremble under the weakening strength of my arms. Then for the rest of the day they retain the tensile strength of spaghetti. But I never mind, because for that brief moment, I was living the dream baby.

Posted by hopeful @ 12:01 AM • Comments (5)

June 14, 2005

Office Barbie

Late Sunday night my boss called and asked me to go into our client’s office on Monday. You can read more about them here and here. I don’t like going in to the office because I don’t like anybody there, but I was excited that they haven’t seen me for a few months so I knew I would look a lot different to them. I was looking forward to seeing everybody feeling a lot more confident.

I pulled together a really cute outfit. I think I looked damn cute, in fact! Even though I’m not Miss Twiggy, I looked curvy in a sexy way. In my mind anyway, and that’s what counts because it gave me the confidence to strut my stuff and be outgoing and comfortable.

If Mattel made office Barbies my client would be their prototype. Everyone is generically perfect and it feels very shallow. I just can’t get myself to enjoy it. I will suspend my judgment and give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I just don’t know them well enough, although my continual impressions have not been good. I did, however, enjoy the lingering glances everyone gave when they initially saw me and even throughout the day. They were definitely pondering the changes in me. I bet the girls were thinking “if she gets thin I might have to consider her competition.” I could be an evil, paranoid, pessimistic bi-atch but I’ve encountered a lot of women who think along those lines and relished and took comfort in the fact that I was fat. We (heavy ladies), often have friends who subtly try to keep us that way and make it difficult for us to get thin by giving resistance and a hard time. Bring it on ladies.

I look forward to going into the office every 15, 20 pounds(down) or so. I’m curious to see the changes in their treatment of me. Check out this article, it’s enough to make you sick. I have no doubt that head honchos of my client company feel this way (actually everybody there does, I’m sure).

I’m not worried about my limited contract with them. I feel confident enough to get a job at my weight now. I project, at the rate that I’m losing weight, that I will be at my goal by the time my contract expires. Then I will have even less difficulty.

Posted by hopeful @ 12:26 PM • Comments (10)

June 10, 2005

Collective Loss!

Here is the total weight loss for all of us! (However, if this were just mine, I wouldn't even be at my goal yet.)

Still it's a nice chunck a' change!! We're doing great.

I'm getting so many great ideas for this site (from you guys), I can hardly keep up.

• I'm trying to get it re-designed
• I want to add a chart for our collective weight loss
• I want to add links to my favorite sites
• And links to the blogs or sites of "Hopeful Losers" (actually quite successful losers ;-))
• I also have to update our percentage charts

There is tons to do! And I love the ideas, so feel free to keep sending them my way. This site has basically been built on everybody elses ideas! Thanks!

Posted by hopeful @ 5:40 PM • Comments (2)

Chart 6/6/2005

This week's chart!

We've added Kim and Bridgette this week! This is for the weigh-in this past Monday. I better get quicker at posting this because just as I was posting, I got two more requests and an updated weight!

We will include Princess and Cara next week! Nice job Martha on the additional 4.6lbs. which will also go into next week! (Sorry I didn't' catch all that quicker)

To join up, just email her@hopefulloser.com and put something like "Charts" or "Progress Charts" in the subject so that I can easily sift through all my email to find it.

Posted by hopeful @ 5:28 PM • Comments (3)

June 8, 2005

The Almighty Waistline

The BigFatBlog is a great site. While I am working to lose weight, I think that it is important to be happy in your skin. This site does a great job at putting things into perspective and making you feel like you’re a normal frikin’ person at any weight. WE ARE and we deserve to be treated as such.

If we could really get to the point of believing that, then maybe we wouldn’t be so bummed out when we have weeks where we don’t lose as much weight. It is also important to note that what we are doing is crazy difficult and we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. Do we beat ourselves up this much when we have a bad week at work, or spend a little too much money on the last trip to the mall? No, we get over it because ups and downs are all a part of life. (I know, you’re saying "but those previously mentioned don’t affect the waistline, unless that excess money dropped at the mall was spent in the food court".) The almighty waistline, damn it, why do we covet thee?

I’ve been feeling great about myself lately. In general that is, I still have bumps in the road like last week where I was a little down and out.

Some of the great changes so far, due to some weight loss and exercising (for sure has made me stronger):

1. I can sleep on my back without nearly suffocating.
2. I can once again tie my shoes without blacking out.
3. I don’t wake up with back pain.
4. I have energy to play with my daughter (I had none before)
5. Extreme truth: I no longer squeeze out a little pee when I sneeze or cough or even laugh (no, it has nothing to do with giving birth, I had a C-section)

(wow, I can’t believe I fessed up to that last one. I hope to goodness that was caused by my weight. How embarrassing would that be if it was totally irrelevant? Then it would just be a fun tid-bit for you guys to ponder.)

A goal I haven’t achieved yet is being able to run. I am still too heavy for my small frame to receive my weight crashing down on impact. The thought of having both feet off the ground simultaneously terrifies my knees. Last night I was going to graduate from the Firm "Not – So – Tough Aerobics" to the "Tough Aerobic Mix". To my disappointment I couldn’t handle all the jumping around. It felt like I was being dropped 10 stories onto a concrete slab. I thought my skeleton was going to shatter. Oh, well, I’ll stick to the "Not-so-Tough" and just use heavier weights and to raise the intensity, I’ll flail my arms around like the crazy person that I am.

Posted by hopeful @ 4:23 PM • Comments (8)

June 7, 2005

*Sigh*

I weighed in, yesterday, 1 pound less at 192. Pretty uneventful. I have to watch that I don’t get too greedy. I have to keep everything in moderation otherwise I risk falling off the wagon. A hard fall, the ones I don’t recover from, where I gain all the weight back if not more before I even dust myself off.

Last week wasn’t a particularly good one. I ate out, no less than four times, and didn’t get a ton of workouts in. I was pretty pleased with how well I did restraining myself while eating out, though. However, just smelling the food at these restaurants is probably twice the amount of calories and fat than I would be getting eating a healthy meal at home. Eating out has got to be curbed.

Also, I didn’t get a good amount of sleep. Being rested makes a huge difference on my mental state, not to mention, gives me the energy to work out well. I get depressed and discouraged a lot easier when I’m tired. I had been doing well getting my sleep in, but lately, I just haven’t been able to fall asleep and my daughter has been waking up a ton in the middle of the night.

What is going on? Is there something in the air? A few of us have felt it and I think it’s giving my daughter nightmares.

Ahhh, how I would love to pass the buck and put the blame on something other than myself.

This week is off to a slow start, I’m still trying to fall asleep and both my husband and I being busy at work lead us to eat out. We’ll see if I get it together.

(insert big sigh here)

Posted by hopeful @ 4:55 PM • Comments (4)

June 6, 2005

Perceptions

Didn't we all at some point when we were kids love to philosophize on whether or not we see colors the same? Is what you see for the color green the same as what I see?

I always think about how I perceive myself. I’m sure I don’t see myself the same way you do. I always had confidence in many things, but I never really knew how I felt about the way that I looked. I would drive my sister crazy endlessly asking "do I look OK?", "does this look good?", or, of course, "do I look fat?" I couldn't tell. If I was having a good day I would look good or thin and vice versa.

Friday my boss instant messengered (IM) me and mentioned that he saw my doppelganger. He thought it was so funny because he seriously took a double take. He’s on a business trip across the country and they were having lunch at a fast food taco joint. The woman he saw was an employee there (like he really had to do a double take as though I might be moonlighting at a taco joint across the country, crazy boss).

I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I wish I could see what she looks like. I wonder how he sees me. I wonder if she was fat.

Here’s how the conversation ended.

Hopeful: She must have been HOT!
Boss: She was smokin’

Yeah, I figured

Posted by hopeful @ 3:31 PM • Comments (9)

June 4, 2005

Chart 5/30/05

This weeks charts!

We've added PrettynPink who just started. See her pink dot, soon to be a line?

If anybody else wants to join up, just email her@hopefulloser.com and put something like "Charts" or "Progress Charts" in the subject so that I can easily sift through all my email to find it.

There is NO PRESSURE here. Well, I certainly hope no one feels it. This is just a way for us all to support eachother and cheer eachother on. For the most part there is a lot of positivity going on here. I really hope that people feel like they can still turn to this site when they are having a difficult time too. Although the chart below shows some pretty good progress for me, it hasn’t been easy. It has taken me 3 months to lose 18 pounds (only 6 a month). There are weeks that I don’t lose and the chart doesn’t reflect the week that I gained. (We didn’t have precise data for the first two months and we used averages, except for Martha who had written stuff down.)

In the past I have fell off the wagon a bunch of times and I think to myself, what if things go bad for me would I just abandon this site? Right now, I really believe I wouldn’t. I’ve said this before, but I have never been honest with anybody about my weight like I have been to this website. I don’t even look at myself in the mirror but for flashing seconds to make sure nothing is too amiss. I have never seen myself to the extent that I see myself in the progress pictures that I post here and I’ve never shared my weight loss experiences and struggles with so many people before. So I attribute a lot of my success to this and if I were really starting to regress I would talk that much more. It was you guys who really got me motivated in the first place, I’m sure it would work again.

Anyway, I was trying not to be so long winded (no such luck, what else is new) and really just wanted to stress that I don’t want anyone to read this site and think “I just haven’t flipped that switch” or “well, I’m just not there yet” then leave and not come back. Don’t go. I can assure you that no switch has been flipped and I’m certainly not there yet either.

Posted by hopeful @ 1:47 AM • Comments (7)

June 2, 2005

Hello Neck

I am becoming reacquainted with my neck. I’ve noticed a shadow reappearing below my jaw line all around my face. Welcome back neck! I’m also seeing some bones. I had forgotten that I’m comprised of bones. I was under the impression that I had been magically inflated and tension was keeping me from collapsing into a big blob. I always did look like I was about to explode. I’m now seeing my clavicle (the bone that runs straight across your chest from shoulder to shoulder) and I swear I’m not shrugging my shoulders to see it. When I went to sleep last night I was lying on my back, which was totally uncomfortable before, and my stomach actually dipped below my ribs. Until recently I couldn’t sleep on my back. I wouldn’t be able to breathe very well and I would make gurgling sounds like sporadic snoring.

I’ve never been so happy to be 193. I actually feel thin (even though I’m technically NOT). When I hit this number on the upswing I was devastated. I’m also in better shape now than I was then. Exercise makes all the difference. I feel better physically and mentally.

When I first started gaining all this weight I was overworked and never exercised. I felt terrible about myself. I remember vividly when I was fast approaching 165 and my recently purchased “fat” pants were getting too tight. That was just the beginning of that repeated sequence. Each ten pounds just blew me away and I fell into a bigger and bigger slump.

Now, while I do celebrate each pound that comes off, I am making a bigger deal out of exercising, eating well, and health. Because that I can do even on the weeks where I don’t lose any weight. I have more energy and feel more positive now than I did when I was that 165. Contrary to popular opinion I bet I’m healthier now than I was then too. I do believe we can be these heavier weights and pretty healthy too. With that kind of attitude, in time, I think the weight loss would naturally follow. We’ll see won’t we?

Posted by hopeful @ 11:11 AM • Comments (8)

June 1, 2005

Recovering

Feeling celebratory, I actually wore my size 16 jeans yesterday… well… for the first half of the day anyway. I thought the slight discomfort of the tightness would be a constant reminder of my mission. I had to pick up a few things at the store before the party got started. I didn’t figure on how I was going to drive with my size 16s. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I walk like C-3P0 in them. I had to move my seat back and recline it a bit. Quite a bit. I drove to the store in a horizontal position. I was hoping that people would think that I was just trying to be cool, but my car doesn’t really evoke that response. I managed.

The day was going great, my BBQ was a success. I made awesome grilled Portobello mushroom sandwiches that satisfied even the non-veggies. I think it was all the beer drinking that led me to unbutton my pants. Once I had done that, I couldn’t keep the zipper up. Where the heck did I get the idea that you could some how magically push down the zipper handle (or whatever you call it) and it would lock it in place? Seriously did I make that up?

Despite all the beer that I did drink, I wasn’t quite prepared to do a strip tease, so I busted out the elastic pants. Freedom! And enough room to indulge in Mrs. Smith’s apple pie and ice cream. In the spirit of cheat day I tried to have a big chocolate cookie with that, but just couldn’t.

Oy vay, when I think about what I ate it makes me want to take a shower! It will go down as my cheat day for two weeks! Today I’m recovering from the food bender I went on yesterday. I would rejoice if this were just a measly hangover, Corona has less fat.

Posted by hopeful @ 12:17 AM • Comments (4)