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May 3, 2005

Move over Paige Davis

A huge part of what I’m working on aside from losing the weight is preparing myself to keep it off and be a thin person the rest of my life. In the past, anytime I successfully took off weight I swore I was never going to let myself get fat again. I thought being thin and feeling great was going to be the incentive or reminder I needed not to let myself ever go back to the fat me. Yet, time and time again I gained the weight back (let’s all chime in…AND THEN SOME).

Most of my life I’ve been preoccupied with issues related to food and weight. I know that isn’t going to completely go away because I am not one who was blessed with the genes that make it a non-issue. Below is the graphical representation of my metabolic mechanism.

Who am I kidding? That’s live action footage.

Back to the point…
I want to be a person who can give other things priority. I want to focus on and explore other aspects of myself.

REAL TIME UPDATE: I am going to abruptly stop this post right here. I have a bunch of stuff I wrote that I’m going to leave out for now. To get some ideas down I started writing a stream of consciousness and it started getting a little too involved so I want to dedicate more time constructing it.

I definitely want my posts to sometimes tackle more serious issues and hit upon some sensitive areas. It’s going to be a bit of a challenge to really open up and share my feelings. I tend to hide behind humor to disguise the serious stuff.

I’m working to redefine who I am. That is why this time it WILL last.

I really believe, before you repaint a wall you need to take the wallpaper down. I cursed the episodes of Trading Spaces when they didn’t do it and I don’t want to short change myself in the same way.

Posted by hopeful @ May 3, 2005 4:58 PM