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April 6, 2005

Triggers

Having this website is the first thing that I’ve done for myself in a really long while. Something that I really like stealing time for and not letting anything get in the way of that. I’m generally overextended towards my family, work and everything else. This is me time for me me me.

Having done this for nearly a month now has really decreased my stress a lot which I think contributes to easing my weight loss battle. Not only do I believe that stress causes weight gain, I know that I tend to get a bit self destructive when I neglect myself (which until lately has been the story of my life, actually, even still lately).

I realize that there are triggers to my "binges". I’m not just a food lover or lazy and I don’t even completely lack willpower. I use food as a destructive weapon against myself.

When I have a long work day that makes me miss out on time with my daughter, a favorite TV show, or a workout session or something, I’ll eat. I’ll eat with a vengeance. I eat a ton more than I normally would and chose high fat and caloric stuff. I eat fast and hardly appreciate what it is I’m eating, much like the serious binges of back in the day when I was a hard core bulimic. I don't throw up any more, hense the weight gain.

I will elaborate on this more later, but right now I’m busy as hell. I have to work a ton and my husband needs my help with his work. Today is going to suck much like yesterday did. I just wanted to check in because I need to. It makes me feel better and I want to prevent a trigger from getting the best of me.

Thanks you guys for being there - molly, gail, misty, wendy, betty, froglette, katie, and welcome adriane (we have a lot to talk about, stick around, everybody is so supportive), and all you lurkers who haven't posted yet.

Posted by hopeful @ April 6, 2005 11:11 AM