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March 29, 2005

At least I didn't go balls to the wall

These are kind of conflicting thoughts here but the weekend went by in a blip and I miss my sister already, but at the same time, as I sit here in front of my computer, it feels as though I haven’t been here in a long while. It’s good to be back.

How’d I do? I didn’t do well, but I didn’t do as bad as I thought I might. Everybody was in vacation mode and wanted to eat everywhere and often. We live near a touristy city and walked from one eatery to another. I did indulge in my Thai coconut curry and a few other favorites like caesar salad! I didn’t eat as much as everybody else; it was just a little too much (especially when it came to the eggplant calzone).

What made me feel the most awful was when, after my typical breakfast this morning (veggie bacon with soy cream cheese sandwich), I had 3 small slices of left over pizza! I don’t even know why I did it or when I made the decision to do it. It was as though it just happened. Before I knew it I was wondering “what did I just do?” Those slices sat in my stomach like a brick all morning. To make matters worse, I’m tired today as per usual and didn’t exercise because of it.

I’m not going to continue to let just two days get me down, in retrospect it wasn’t such a disaster. We walked a lot and my daughter was particularly clingy so I carried 22 extra pounds around most of the time. I never had the “I blew it so I might as well go balls to the wall” attitude. And even though I didn’t exercise today, I recovered from the pizza and ate well the rest of the day. I plan on going to bed right after I post this, resisting the urge to read the entire Internet and watch all the shows that I taped.

Sometimes it amazes me that my life is such a conscious effort. What would I be like and what might I have accomplished if I didn’t direct so much time, energy, and thought into developing healthy eating habits and regaining a fit body. Prior to editing that previous sentence it contained words like “has to be” in front of “conscious effort” and “have to” before “direct so much time”. I decided to take those words out because it doesn’t “have” to be, I’m choosing to do this and that empowers me. My goal is for this to feel more natural and to come more easily to me so that in time I will have more of myself to dedicate to something else.

I'm not going to weigh myself today because I don't want to get discouraged. I’ll just keep on trudging forward without looking back. I hope I have the energy to step it up a notch this week.

Posted by hopeful @ March 29, 2005 10:24 PM